A cheap shot
When professional golden glove boxers fight each other, they always look to strike at the time that their opponent is the most weak or unprepared. The best hits are the unexpected or the ones that no one saw coming. These are the hits that hurt the opponent the most.
But those who become great and excel in boxing are those who can handle the low blows below the belt, the biting of the ears, the upper cuts to the face in the late rounds, and the punches when most susceptible!
The other night I was practicing for my University Step Show and I took a much needed 10 minute break to check my phone and quench my dire thirst with some gatorade. I unexpectedly saw the name of an ex on my phone's screen. I had missed a text from her and I wondered what she had to say. At this point in time, I was stressed out from repeated hectic step practices, lack of sleep, trouble with academics, and a small argument with the person who matters to me the most at my University.
The message read: Chris have you blocked me from being able to search you on facebook? Well if you have, that really hurts my feelings.
I replied: Only those who are my friends can search me. But I havent specifically blocked you or anyone from searching my page.
She replies: Well I was telling a friend about you today and when she searched for your name on facebook, it showed up, but then when I tried searching your name. Nothing came up.
I replied: I dont see how that can happen.. But I havent specifically blocked anyone from viewing my page.
She replies: well whatever.
She then calls:
She tells me about how she's enjoying nursing school and I tell her about my current status regarding my career as well.
She mentions her family and ask about my own and then she gets into the facebook issue.
She starts to explain how she hasnt found a man that's right for her at her University and then I explain how she would meet that one person that's perfect for her, but she had to allow them to love her. She goes on to say that she's an independent woman and doesn't need a man in her life. But, the way she was speaking seemed as if she wanted one.
I replied: Well, you know yourself better than I do.
She brought up an old memory from high school. I had a feeling this was coming, so then I started to give her the impression that I was about to fall asleep.
I explained to her how I'v found a girl who has brought out things in me that I never thought I posessed. She went quite for a little and quickly changed subject. I wasnt sure what signals she was throwing at me, but it seemed as if she was attempting to put thoughts in my head that involved what me and her had long time ago. This is when I ended the conversation and told her I was going to call it a night. Frustration and unsatisfaction was in her voice when she hung up.
I thought to myself after hanging up. Of all the days she could call, how come it was today when things were a bit rough and not as strong as usual with me and my girlfriend. What made me repeatedly bring the beautiful girl I am currently in love with up so much with this ex. This is one of the few times that I could truly say that I did not even flinch after this unexpected jab was thrown at me. It's as if, I was prepared for this unexpected swing and the way I dodged the swing meant that the current love I have must be something so special, that someone who previously had the power to change my mind with the snap of a finger was now the one I can easily reject and disregard. Growth has come my way, and I thank God for the people he has put in my life! Both past and present.
The left brainer taking a tap into the right Hemisphere!
Call Me Mr. Teeth
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
I thought it left me...I thought I was over it...I thought it was long gone.
I feel the relapse. Why has this anger come back? Where has the patience that I have worked so hard on disappeared to? Please come back and come back quick.
Why is it that little things can trigger such huge emotion. Why is it that I can't always be opened minded. Where is this pressure coming from? I refuse to crack under it.
Patience is no longer a want it's a necessity..and It will come back
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere
Call me Mr. Teeth
I feel the relapse. Why has this anger come back? Where has the patience that I have worked so hard on disappeared to? Please come back and come back quick.
Why is it that little things can trigger such huge emotion. Why is it that I can't always be opened minded. Where is this pressure coming from? I refuse to crack under it.
Patience is no longer a want it's a necessity..and It will come back
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere
Call me Mr. Teeth
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
definitionless LoVE
Random babbling:
I learn something new about myself each day. I have a little trouble vividly remembering memories when someone else brings them up..I feel as if I am being quizzed over a period in my life and i have to search through a gizzillion memories in my head in order to find the specific one asked. But after today, I realized that if I produce the memory myself and if I return to the area in which a memory ocurred, then I full enjoy and reminisce on the memory created within my mind verbadum.
This word known as love has confused every neuron in my brain since the day I thought I figured it out. Love should be the only word in the dictionary in which the definition states - Insert your definition here. There are 6 billion people on this earth and out of those 6 billion, I believe 99% of the people have their own idea of love.
Its difficult for me to write about my love but I will give it a try.
As of now, in this stage of my life, I feel as if I am in more love than I can handle. What have I done to deserve this feeling from another? I have someone who has showed me compassion with actions, words, feeling, and thoughts. She has put some of my feelings before hers and has done everything in her power to make me happy..Am I dreaming? The hardest thing for me to fathom, is the way in which love snuck up on me without me even recognnizing it.
I thought love was at first sight. Incorrect.
I thought one would know when love hit him. Incorrect.
I thought one had control over love. Incorrect
I thought one can choose love. Incorrect
I was 0 out of 4. If love was a class, I would of dropped it faster than Tony Romo in the 2007 playoffs. The love I have found, has proven my critical ideas of love to be false. This love was a hidden treasure. This love was in front of me for the longest but it was transparent to me. I was seeing life through a pair of glasses that I thought was giving me perfect vision to find love, little did i know the lenses of the glasses was where my love was hiding. Right in front of my eyes. Transparent but existant within the very lense of my glasses.
All I could do is thank God for giving this love the will, courage, and patience to allow me in and excuse my tardiness.
I have more to say about this love, but it's not coming out at this exact moment so Ill save it for another day.
The left brainer taking a tap into the right hemisphere
Call Me Mr. TEETh
The transparent love.
I learn something new about myself each day. I have a little trouble vividly remembering memories when someone else brings them up..I feel as if I am being quizzed over a period in my life and i have to search through a gizzillion memories in my head in order to find the specific one asked. But after today, I realized that if I produce the memory myself and if I return to the area in which a memory ocurred, then I full enjoy and reminisce on the memory created within my mind verbadum.
This word known as love has confused every neuron in my brain since the day I thought I figured it out. Love should be the only word in the dictionary in which the definition states - Insert your definition here. There are 6 billion people on this earth and out of those 6 billion, I believe 99% of the people have their own idea of love.
Its difficult for me to write about my love but I will give it a try.
As of now, in this stage of my life, I feel as if I am in more love than I can handle. What have I done to deserve this feeling from another? I have someone who has showed me compassion with actions, words, feeling, and thoughts. She has put some of my feelings before hers and has done everything in her power to make me happy..Am I dreaming? The hardest thing for me to fathom, is the way in which love snuck up on me without me even recognnizing it.
I thought love was at first sight. Incorrect.
I thought one would know when love hit him. Incorrect.
I thought one had control over love. Incorrect
I thought one can choose love. Incorrect
I was 0 out of 4. If love was a class, I would of dropped it faster than Tony Romo in the 2007 playoffs. The love I have found, has proven my critical ideas of love to be false. This love was a hidden treasure. This love was in front of me for the longest but it was transparent to me. I was seeing life through a pair of glasses that I thought was giving me perfect vision to find love, little did i know the lenses of the glasses was where my love was hiding. Right in front of my eyes. Transparent but existant within the very lense of my glasses.
All I could do is thank God for giving this love the will, courage, and patience to allow me in and excuse my tardiness.
I have more to say about this love, but it's not coming out at this exact moment so Ill save it for another day.
The left brainer taking a tap into the right hemisphere
Call Me Mr. TEETh
The transparent love.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
A special Sunday
The girls who used to get water all over their sunday dresses after drinking from the water fountain are now applying lo'real. The boys or at least who you thought were boys are taller than their moms, with shoulders broader than their dads are carrying a swagger that says, CONFIDENCE! The friend you use to play hide and go seek with after Sunday school is now teaching a Sunday School class. The childhood pastor that you thought you would never see is now standing in front of you. The older girl you had a crush on is now a registered nurse with a husband on her arm.
To return to a place that has comforted you since you can remember. The return to Faith United Methodist Church.
This morning my mind woke up at 6:45 am but my body woke up at 10:00 am. As I walked into Faith UMC, I couldn't help but notice the distinct smell of coffee and pansit that I experienced every Sunday as a kid. I promised to listen to the sermon today in church, but my eyes could not help but observe the growth the church had made.
Aunty Helmi, a choir member who use to give me free soda every Sunday was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and lost all of her hair. Today aunty Helmi had atleast two inches of hair on her head in which she dyed a rust orange color. She was working it!!
You can feel the Christmas spirit within the congregation, most of the wives were wearing red dresses with Christmas jewelry except my mom and Aunty Morenike who have always brushed against the grain and decided to wear royal purple and rich gold! The boys who use to run around the front yard of the church wore white collar shirts with a red tie and perfromed a beautiful song during offertory. John whose voice is known for being very deep, sang the alto and amazed everyone in the sanctuary. I could not help but applaud until they took their seats. Pastor Cajiuat who was the old pastor, came back to give a sermon to a church in which he had left and took many with him. Only the Lord had the power to bring him back to the alter of the Church that once was his. The reality of him on the podium once again was something that we never thought our eyes would ever see. What a wonderful Sunday. A Sunday different from the last. A sunday that will soon be the past. But a Sunday that would forever last.
A special Sunday!
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere
Call Me Mr. Teeth 12/13/09
To return to a place that has comforted you since you can remember. The return to Faith United Methodist Church.
This morning my mind woke up at 6:45 am but my body woke up at 10:00 am. As I walked into Faith UMC, I couldn't help but notice the distinct smell of coffee and pansit that I experienced every Sunday as a kid. I promised to listen to the sermon today in church, but my eyes could not help but observe the growth the church had made.
Aunty Helmi, a choir member who use to give me free soda every Sunday was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago and lost all of her hair. Today aunty Helmi had atleast two inches of hair on her head in which she dyed a rust orange color. She was working it!!
You can feel the Christmas spirit within the congregation, most of the wives were wearing red dresses with Christmas jewelry except my mom and Aunty Morenike who have always brushed against the grain and decided to wear royal purple and rich gold! The boys who use to run around the front yard of the church wore white collar shirts with a red tie and perfromed a beautiful song during offertory. John whose voice is known for being very deep, sang the alto and amazed everyone in the sanctuary. I could not help but applaud until they took their seats. Pastor Cajiuat who was the old pastor, came back to give a sermon to a church in which he had left and took many with him. Only the Lord had the power to bring him back to the alter of the Church that once was his. The reality of him on the podium once again was something that we never thought our eyes would ever see. What a wonderful Sunday. A Sunday different from the last. A sunday that will soon be the past. But a Sunday that would forever last.
A special Sunday!
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere
Call Me Mr. Teeth 12/13/09
Friday, December 11, 2009
Here I am
The fear of letting the outside come in. The fear of my words not being good enough. The fear of my thoughts not matching yours. The thought of failing to impress the people around me. The pressure of keeping the non opinionated reputation intact. The feeling of non acceptance. The idea that they would judge me. The act of erasing after creating. The consistancy of hesitation.
These are what kept me from sharing my voice with the rest of the world. This is what caused me to mute my mind in which I so badly wanted to share. I encaged my thoughts, ideas, and views in my brain until they began to fight each other. The longer they would stay in my mind fighting, the less effective they became until they vanished and left me for good.
But know, my voice will be shared, The mute button has been turned off and the volume has been cranked up a few decibels. This is a new beginning. It took a long time to visit this world that I knew existed but was not willing to visit. But here I am now, Here I am in a place that is new to me but I already feel welcome. Here I am in a place in which I restrain from blinking in order to miss nothing. Here I am in a place that I feel free. Here I am in a place allows me to be me. Here I am in a place where my imagination is at home. Here I am in a place where I see no end, no restriction, no guideline. Here I am in a non secular place, where dreams are realities.
Here I AM! and Here I will stay! Until another Day
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere!
Call me MR. teeth 12/11/09
These are what kept me from sharing my voice with the rest of the world. This is what caused me to mute my mind in which I so badly wanted to share. I encaged my thoughts, ideas, and views in my brain until they began to fight each other. The longer they would stay in my mind fighting, the less effective they became until they vanished and left me for good.
But know, my voice will be shared, The mute button has been turned off and the volume has been cranked up a few decibels. This is a new beginning. It took a long time to visit this world that I knew existed but was not willing to visit. But here I am now, Here I am in a place that is new to me but I already feel welcome. Here I am in a place in which I restrain from blinking in order to miss nothing. Here I am in a place that I feel free. Here I am in a place allows me to be me. Here I am in a place where my imagination is at home. Here I am in a place where I see no end, no restriction, no guideline. Here I am in a non secular place, where dreams are realities.
Here I AM! and Here I will stay! Until another Day
The left brainer taking a tap into the Right Hemisphere!
Call me MR. teeth 12/11/09
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